Payback for shaping my SSH traffic...

#!/usr/bin/perl
use strict;

my $how = "http://";
my $where = "mirrors.tds.net";
my $when = "now";
my $why = "because I feel like it";

sub spork {
 my $base = shift;
 $base = $where if (!$base);
 my @lines = `wget -O - $base | grep -v "Parent Directory"
    | grep href`;

 foreach (@lines) {
   if ($_ =~ /<a href="([^"]+)">/i) {
     my $place = $1;
     next if ($place =~ /^(?:\?|mailto|ftp:\/\/)/ ||
         $place =~ /\/\?[^\/]+$/);
     $place = "/$place" if ($place !~ /^($how|\/)/ &&
         $base !~ /\/$/);
     $place = "$base$place" if ($place !~ /^$how/);
     spork($place) if ($place =~ /^$how(\w+\.)?$where/);
   }
 }
}

$\ = "\n";
print $why;
system("sleep `echo \\`date -d \"$when\" +%s\\`-".
    "\\`date -d now +%s\\`+2 | bc`");
fork;fork;fork;spork;

Editor's note: The author is NOT responsible for any damages resulting from misuse of this script, intentional or unintentional; including, but not limited to: damage to one's car from furious IT people, expulsion from Christian universities, acquiring of creepy Facebook stalkers, RIAA or MPAA lawsuits, skydiving accidents, zombie invasions, or planet-destroying interdimensional wormholes. Please, be responsible. Don't drink and code.